Hearing the Music

Your Formidable Self

In the coming weeks, many of us will be gathering with family, enjoying meals, traditions, and making new memories. But let's be honest, with family also comes known brokenness, stress and more emotional triggers than we really want. Why is that?

Author Henri Nouwen*  speaks of the effect family has on all of us from a very personal point of view, that of our younger self. 

“A part of you was left behind very early in your life: the part that never felt completely received. It is full of fears. Meanwhile, you grew up with many survival skills. But you want your self to be one. So you have to bring home the part of you that was left behind. That is not easy, because you have become quite a formidable person, and your fearful part does not know if it can safely dwell with you. Your grown-up self has to become very childlike—hospitable, gentle, and caring—so your anxious self can return and feel safe.”  

Even in the best of families, because of the the sin of the world and the sin within us, we grow up with warped approaches to life in select areas. This leaves us on the one hand anxious, fearful and vulnerable, while on the other hand due to coping mechanisms and instinctive survival skills, we have become "quite formidable". In saying this, Nouwen is referring to relational styles that we learn to operate with. Some of us are aggressive, hurting others before they hurt us. Some of us withdraw, putting up protective walls so that we don't get hurt. We make vows and agreements with ourselves never to let this happen to us again or not to put ourselves in a vulnerable position. In short, we do become quite formidable. As Nouwen speaks of it here, part of the way forward is to be re-parented. Think of what Jesus says in Matthew 18, "And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. " (vv. 2, 3) Certainly here Jesus is addressing issues of pride and humility, but Jesus is also recognizing that we did leave a part of us behind in childhood and he is inviting us into the arms of a loving heavenly Father to be made whole in our adult selves. It is as we surrender like little children to our Heavenly Father that we learn to grieve our losses and see that broken little child morph into our adult self with grace and tenderness. Perhaps then we can face our fears and anxieties with both sadness and hope, with vulnerability and courage

* Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom

Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash

Dis-Interested

Well we have now had our first snowfall of the season! It is always nice to get that out of the way -- in October! I guess it is time to settle in, heat up some hot chocolate, put up those Christmas trees ... oh wait, not quite yet.

I wanted to think for just a moment about our interests or better yet our dis-interest. In our modern times it is quite common for people to pursue their own interests. I will look out what is best for me. You look out what is best for you. The problem is, with everyone looking to their own interests, there is the frequent butting of heads and no one to look after the common interests of families, churches, societies, etc... Something has to give or everything will explode. Who will look after the common interests?

According to Nancy Pearcy* that was what authority is for. Chronicling the colonial era, Pearcy says the following about the use of authority, “A person who occupied a position of authority was called to sacrifice his own ambition to advance the good of the whole. To use a favorite word from the colonial era, (they) were to be “disinterested”, which means not pursuing (their) own interests. “ This of course is right in line with the  call of the scripture to “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3–4)”

Last week we got a whiff of how this is to work in a marriage patterned after Christ and the church. The husband lays down his life for the betterment of his wife. The wife in turn, submits herself out of love for her husband and for the glory of Christ.  This week the theme is taken up again with children and parents.  In the Lord, children are called to obey and honor their parents, while parents are to instruct and disciple their children in ways that honor and do not provoke them. The only way that we can do any of this is to have the mind of Christ. In Philippians 2 (quoted above) Paul urges believers to look to the interests of others by having “this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5).”  Note that what is demanded is also provided. In order to have a household (husbands, wives, parents, children) that is properly disinterested we will need the mind of Christ. But thanks be to God, that mind is ours in Christ Jesus!

I know this is a little high level and some may say not practical enough for the day-to-day, but we have to make a start somewhere. I do look forward to digging into Ephesians 6:1-4 with you more closely on Sunday. Also Sunday we will have in our fellowship Dr. Scott Jones, OT Professor from Covenant College. Dr. Jones is in town for another event, but has agreed to lead a combined adult institute for us on the constitution of the Psalter and what it might mean for us practically.

* I definitely recommend this latest book by Pearcy  The Toxic War on Masculinity, How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes

The Church's One Foundation

As we roll into Reformation weekend, we pause to celebrate that Christ alone is head of his church! This has been the preoccupation of the Apostle throughout the book of Ephesians - [God the Father] raised [Christ] from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all. (Ephesians 1:20–23).

That Christ is the head of the church (not popes or bishops, pastors or elders) is the source of so much confidence and comfort for the believer. It is Christ who has given himself over to death in order that we the church, his bride, may have life. It is Christ who gives gifts to his church. It is Christ who has placed his Spirit within the church.  

This Sunday we will sing from the hymn The Church's One Foundation that pictures the love that Christ has for his church in terms of Ephesians 5 -- From heav'n He came and sought her to be His holy bride; with His own blood He bought her, and for her life He died. We will also take up that portion of Ephesians 5 (especially v. 22-33) that highlights Christ sacrificial headship as the model for our marriages. Church, home, and as we will see in a couple of weeks, our work as well; all of our life flows from the headship of Christ.

Don't forget about our extra opportunity to worship with our broader West MI PCA family this coming Sunday evening (5:30pm at Hudsonville Reformed). I am excited for us as a congregation to exercise these ecclesiastical muscles. Worshipping our great God together with these sisters and brothers is one of the ways that we show our unity before the watching world and prepare ourselves for joint acts of mission and service.

Photo by Josh Eckstein on Unsplash