Hearing the Music

Problem – Free Marriages

Did this week's title grab your attention? I hope it did. However, I have some bad, but probably not surprising news for you. Problem-free marriages don't exist in this world. In fact, problem-laden marriages are one of the reasons Jesus left his throne in heaven to enter our world as a human. Over the last several weeks in adult institute we have been talking together about how marriage is hard; seeking together for hope as we surrender ourselves to the work of the Gospel in our lives. 

Paul Tripp in his book entitled Marriage affirms our struggles when he says this, "There has never been a problem-free marriage, and there won't be until we reside on the other side. God has located marriage in a broken and groaning world, where two flawed people, still struggling with remaining sin, commit to the most extensive, intimate, and long term of all human relationships." Several observations jump to my mind.  

First, I can hear a few "Hallelujahs". You thought you were the only ones who found marriage difficult. But now the veneer is off, the truth is out, we all struggle. One of the ways that we give grace to others is by acknowledging our struggles and inviting people to share in our journey. I see lots of evidence that we at Christ Church are continuing to grow in the grace of honesty and helping one another along the way.

Second, God really does have a plan. Contrary to some of our more pessimistic thinking, God did not give your spouse to you to antagonize you, but rather as the occasion for his grace to work within us. As we realize our inability to truly love this creature, to serve them without expectation of reciprocation; as we experience forgiveness and grace from them in our worst moments, we realize that God really does love us and is working to forge us into his image. In other words, embraced with honest humility, marriage is God's good design for our sanctification.

Third, in this season of Advent, we lift our voices in longing for our heavenly bridegroom to come and effect blessing "far as the curse is found", including our marriages. Right now we are in between Jesus' first coming and his second, the great parousia. But he has promised us, in the vein of the Jewish bridegroom, that he has gone ahead "to prepare a place for us". Our current marriages are but a picture of the great marriage, our temporal weddings but a foretaste of the great Wedding Feast of the Lamb.  This is good news for all of our marriages and especially for those who have very little joy in marriage.  There is a problem-free, joy-filled marriage on the horizon, Jesus as our Bridegroom!

Photo by Wedding Dreamz on Unsplash

Advent

As the calendar turns to December, our hearts turn to Advent. Advent is about waiting, hoping, longing for a deliverer. Here is how we wrote it up for our coming series in Hebrews: Who will deliver us from this darkness? Throughout the centuries, God’s people have always felt the darkness of the world, both corporately as well as personally, and have longed for deliverance. This is the heart of Advent, longing, waiting. Waiting for the light to pierce the darkness. Waiting for release from imprisonment. Waiting for rest. But who can deliver on such promises? The opening chapters of Hebrews give us a vision of who the incarnate Son actually is and what he came to do.

Advent is about Jesus. It was at his first coming and it is now, even as we await his second coming.  

Advent is also about coming together in special ways as a church family. Many of us are looking forward to Advent Adventure tonight at the church. Wednesday the 6th is our annual congregational meeting. Sunday evening, December 10 is our children's Christmas program, while the evening  of 17th is a time for caroling to the neighborhoods. This is all in addition to regular worship times and our Christmas Eve service. We come together to celebrate with one another, to revel in the love that came down from heaven to earth, and to extend our earthly love to each other.

Advent is also a time for giving and receiving. As we have received the greatest gift ever given, so we give extraordinarily to display our gratitude. This week starts our Advent offerings. You can note the four causes chosen as recipients. As in years past, we will make these collections over the four Sundays in Advent and divide the total in four equal parts and distribute accordingly to each cause. May our gifts of Advent reflect the joy in our hearts.

Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash

Not Made for Fame

I hope that this letter finds you well fed and in a place of contentment following Thanksgiving. In last week's Friday letter we reflected a bit on some of the difficulties the Holidays can bring. I pray that yours was a time of joy.  If it was or is hard, I pray that you are finding Jesus' presence in the empty place.

For some reason this week I am thinking fame and its opposite, an ordinary life. Perhaps it is holiday movies hitting the cinema or maybe it is the chance for celebrity immortalization in "The Game" set to be played tomorrow, but most of us want to leave a mark on the world. We long for the adulation of others. We want to be seen as special, to be known and loved by all. And why shouldn't we long for this? After all, we live in an age where anyone can write and publish whatever they want to the web. People with an iPhone can become influencers and TikTok celebs. Our young athletes are coddled and celebrated. Maybe we can have it all?

But do we really want this? After all, happiness does not seem to be commensurate with "success". People regularly reach the top only to find it empty, or lonely. How often do we read biographies like the one recently authored by Brittany Spears that speak to the absolute misery that came with fame. How often do the ones that seem to be universally loved in truth feel unequivocally lonely? Sarah Condon in her own reflections on fame says the following, "In truth, we were not made for fame. Being famous ultimately means being responsible for other people’s lives. It means taking on the pressures of the world. And it means being loved by people who do not really love you. Because they do not really know you. And this is the worst kind of love to be offered."

Surely this is why God's word encourages a different attitude.  To the scribe Baruch in the book of Jeremiah, God says, "And do you seek great things for yourself? Seek them not ..." (Jer. 45:5). David, who of course ascended to the throne, speaks beautifully of humble contentment in Psalm 131:1–2, "O LORD, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother;  like a weaned child is my soul within me." Perhaps this is the secret to Thanksgiving?  As we resist the allurement of having it all and rest in the enjoyment of the ordinary, we find that are hearts are filled with real joy. We find that we are loved as we are known. We find that each of us is indeed special in our own place.   

In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon explores these same questions of success, fame and happiness. Early in the book he says that he had reached the top, he achieved all, denied himself nothing, and found it to be only emptiness, a chasing after the wind. (cf. Eccl. 2:9-11). In his wisdom, Solomon sought the secret to happiness. Repeatedly what he found is that simple contentment that returns thanks to God for good gifts enjoyed will result in true happiness. Here is how he says it in Ecclesiastes 5, "Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot. Everyone also to whom God has given wealth and possessions and power to enjoy them, and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil—this is the gift of God. For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart. (vv. 18-20.  cf. also 2:24–26, 3:9–13, 22, 8:15). I pray that each of our hearts would be occupied with this joy of Lord!